I Like ............

The Koln Concert is surrounding me now. Good.
When my mind is blank or just dreaming, what better sound to have as a background?
I usually think that if just by some miracle I could know how to perform such a beautiful concert ! God, that would be the maximum ecstasy for me ! What else if such thing could happen, would it please me more? I think no health can overcome this image!
But then again, my piano times are long gone! I can't remember last time I sat in from of one and actually felt the keys!
All I manage to perform nowadays is some typing, and even that not so fast anyway! and who needs to type fast? I'm no secretary or typist, therefore I type just as good as I need! I think I even type faster then I need ! so what?
It's not about typing my real concern. What bothers me is not a keyboard. It's life it self. It's "things" around me. They are not as I wish they should be. They are too few and too less. Too bad and yet never too good. Not even slightly good anyway.
I miss........oh, what is it that I miss? I miss good times I had, I miss some better times that I never reached. I miss so much and so few! In fact I miss nothing at all! To miss is a auckward verb! One can't really miss! One can only do, and have it done. Reach and have it! Bullocks for missing it!
I rephrase it: "I want...." Now, that's better. I want peace in my mind. I have plenty though, but I want more! How differently I qualify "peace" nowadays! Today it means to me, to be in a pleasant environment, pleasant people, have good music and good books. Before, it was all about doing a lot in order to rest for a while and repeat and repeat it on and on and on again. What peace did I have then? That was no peace at all! Was just about working and overworking in exchange for maybe one day a month with a little more sleep time, and a fatter bank account! I don't sleep that much now and about by bank account I prefer not to deepen the subject...
At those times, I was surrounded and followed by a "plastic" group of people and things. Today, and for all that counts, there's only left the kind and truthful layer of people and things! If I analyze that what else can I say besides that I'm better off like this? And yet...... something fails me! what is it? what is it?
This black on white thing of writing it down, really tires me! Really does! I'm off now.